Memories

As promised, here's a post with some of my memories about Pop-Pop. As I've been thinking about writing this, I've realized that it won't really be possible to write out everything that's in my mind and heart. I'm sure that as soon as I post this, I'll think of something I've left out. It's also true that if I'm not careful, this post could just go on forever, so I'll try to be selective.

One of the first things that comes to mind is the swimming pool. Grandma and Pop-Pop lived in NJ until I was about 12, when they moved to ABQ. In both places, they had a backyard pool. When I was little, we used to go to NJ for about 2 weeks each summer, and what I remember most about those trips was being in the pool. I think we essentially got up, got our swimsuits on, and spent all day in the pool, getting out only for meals. Pop-Pop spent a lot of time with us, teaching us to dive off the diving board, going down the slide with us, playing pool basketball. When they moved to ABQ, they built a custom home, and a pool was a must. Julie, Mom, and I were there almost every day, all summer long. We often brought friends to swim, and I imagine Pop-Pop taught dozens of kids to swim and dive.

Another prominent memory is that Pop-Pop was a storyteller. He loved to sit at the table during and after dinner and talk, often telling stories about his childhood in the small PA town of Renovo, or about his adventures with Grandma as young married college students. He seemed to have a story for everything, and many that he told over and over. After we moved to Tucson, I started writing this blog, which my grandma reads faithfully. A few times during the fall semester last year, Pop-Pop would call after reading a post and share some of his stories with me. I remember him talking with me about all the moves that he and Grandma made, and giving advice about how to get settled in and meet new people. One of the main things he shared was the importance of finding a church and getting involved there. He also talked with me a lot about teaching, since he had been a University professor and I was teaching college courses for the first time. About this topic, what I remember most clearly was his emphasis on constantly evaluating how things were going and being willing to make changes, always striving to teach well (and not getting stuck in a rut!).

Of course, I should also mention his major hobby since moving to ABQ: the garden railroad. He began building it in the backyard, based on their hometown. It grew and grew, becoming more complicated and unique. He built his own bridges and many of the buildings on the layout. Each year, they had an open house to share the trains with friends, neighbors, and the garden railroad groups. My mom also arranged field trips for classes at her school to see the trains. When we went to ABQ in June, Pop-Pop had recently added a couple of new buildings to the layout, including a big, colorful factory constructed out of all kinds of creatively re-used materials. Despite not feeling well, he took Mark and I down to the layout and told us all about the changes he'd made since the winter. He loved sharing his hobby with others.

Something else I've thought of is how often he used to say "whatever pleases you just tickles me to death." He often said this to Grandma, and it reminds me of the loving marriage they had, which was a great example to all of us. They were married for over 50 years.

Pop-Pop was also a great example of a Christian who lived out his faith. He had a vibrant relationship with Jesus, modeling a day-to-day walk of consistent obedience. He was very involved at their church, and I think his faith impacted everything he did. One specific thing I always admired was his generosity. Because of his hard work and intelligence, he was quite advanced in his field (nuclear engineering). So, at least for the time I've been around, he had ample financial resources. I think he was a wonderful model for stewardship of money in a way that honors the Lord. He gave generously to his church, to his family, and recently, to a scholarship fund he and Grandma created at UNM. From what I've observed, especially in recent years, he clearly understood that all he had was truly God's, and he used it for His glory.

One way he has been generous to the family was the Disney Vacation he and Grandma planned for their 50th wedding anniversary. They treated the whole family to a week long "land and sea" trip two summers ago. If you've been to Disney World, you know it really is a magical place, and it was a very special time for the family to be together. Pop-Pop and I had some extra-special moments because he had taken me to Disney World when I was not quite two years old. I was the first grandchild, and Mom always said he couldn't wait to take me. This family trip was 20 years after that first one, and I heard lots of stories about it. Pop-Pop really couldn't wait to go on the "It's a Small World" ride, which had been one of our favorites on that first trip. Mark and I had such a wonderful time at Disney World that we've been saving up to go back ever since. We were so thankful to go as a family.

There are many other snapshots I can think of: the toys he built for us and many other children, his exceptional bass voice singing solos at the church, his unwavering support for Mark and I as we pursue our education, the many invitations he made to us before we moved to come to the house and play pool or swim, the little memos and newspaper articles he sent to us occasionally in the mail, the numerous stories he told of various trips and adventures he and Grandma shared, and the list could go on.

It's still almost impossible for me to believe that I won't be talking to Pop-Pop again in this life, but I am so thankful to have these, and many more, wonderful memories. And, knowing he's home with Jesus does bring great peace and comfort. I just feel sad knowing that he won't be able to (at least not directly) touch more lives.

One last thing about him that seems incredibly important: he loved life. He worked hard, even starting his own consulting business after "retiring," but he was passionate about his work. He spoke at universities and conferences all over the world, sharing his knowledge with others in his field. He had many friends who cared for him--I remember that we often would run into people he knew (sometimes from other countries) in the strangest places (like at Sandia Peak!). He loved his family and supported us all in so many ways. He embraced his garden railroad hobby and shared it with others. He lived with integrity and a steadfast faith that guided his steps. When I talked with my mom on the Monday of the week that he passed away, he had just found out that the cancer had come back in his lungs, despite the intensive treatments he received in the spring. The doctor said if he went through some physical therapy and recovered his strength, he could live for 4-6 more months, without further treatment. After hearing this news, he made the decision that he didn't want to keep fighting, but that he was ready to "go home" to Jesus. At first, I was so upset about that; I kept thinking, "you might be ready, but we're not!" After a few days, I realized I was looking at it all wrong. I now think that his decision and his readiness to "go home" didn't mean that he was giving up. It meant that he was content with the life he lived. I think that many people, given the same news, would start making a list of all the things they wanted to do in those last few months. Go places, do things they'd always wanted to, patch up broken relationships, and the like. What I've realized is that Pop-Pop lived his life in such a way that he didn't have a list like that. He had gone places; he had done incredible things; he knew his relationships with family and friends were whole. That's the kind of man he was: one who really lived; so that when his time came, rather than looking back with regrets, he looked forward with anticipation of the life to come.